


What The Hell

by MagieFish



Series: Some Inky Stuff [2]
Category: Bendy and the Ink Machine
Genre: Comedy, Dark Comedy, Gen, Good ending?, Swearing, The Ink Demon Is Basically A Cat, Very Lightly Implied Sexual Content, henry can’t give a shit about anything anymore, pinch of angst, sort of i guess, this is just me having fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2019-09-27 01:45:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17152970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagieFish/pseuds/MagieFish
Summary: The monsters are saved from the studio. Well, not saved, more like unwillingly dragged out because apparently it was better to be outside.





	1. In Which Joey Is Forcefully Handed A Bunch Of Monsters.

Joey was sitting at his table, minding his own business. It had been about a week since Henry had gone into the studio and Joey felt like he wasn’t coming out anytime soon. _What a shame._ He sarcastically thought as he unfolded a newspaper. 

**Devil Spotted In New York.**

_Witnesses report seeing a 6 foot tall Devil type creature with a smile, peering out of car in New York. All attempts to try and apprehend it have failed as the police force refuse to go after it. ‘That creature is the work of Satan himself!’, A policeman, who wishes to remain anonymous, tells us. ‘I am not going anywhere near it!’_

Joey looked from the newspaper with a pale face. _Shit._ It was at that moment there was a ring at the doorbell. Joey looked at it. _Maybe if I stay silent they won’t know I’m here-_ A monstrous hand punched through his door, wood flying in all directions. Joey fell backwards in his chair with a loud yelp. The hand felt around the door before grasping the handle and twisting it to reveal an inky abomination standing at the door. It looked down at the man nearby with a shaking smile. Henry glared very intensely at Joey. He made his way over to him as he grasped the table in an effort to stand. His face was covered in ink, an axe gripped in one hand.

”Henry...Henry I know I’ve done shit but trust me, killing me would be an awful IDEA-“

He let out a girlish scream as the axe moved. Then he stopped once he realised Henry was holding it out to him.

”You’ll need it if Bendy gets frustrated.”

”What?”, Joey asked as the axe was thrusted into his hand.

”He likes being stroked, especially along the spine, it’s his fatal weakness.”, Henry contiuned in a monotone voice, “Alice needs a lot of shampoo and condotioner, she’s really high maintenance, she can’t stand any filth so make sure she doesn’t sleep on the floor and also keep her at a distance from Bendy. All the other monsters who will be staying here are men, so when she takes a shower make sure to lock the door. She often leaves it open as she’s not very...modest. Sammy has a coffee phobia, keep him at a distance from Bendy as well, try find him a shirt because Alice keeps looking. Piper, Fisher and Striker don’t have a sense of fear, they’re dumb as shit, so keep them away from Bendy, toasters, windows, toilets, paper, knives and literally anything that has the slightest potential to kill them. And The Projectionist is chill, just make sure he and Bendy don’t get into another man fight and if he gets mad,”, Henry produced a reel and placed it on the table, “Stick this in his head.”

And without another word Henry slammed the door shut. Joey watched in stunned horror as all previously mentioned monsters started to wander about his apartment.

”I must say, “, Alice said disapprovingly, “This place is absolutely filthy.”

”What.”, Joey breathed, “The. Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for hell to break loose.


	2. In Which Henry Gives Linda The Worst ‘I’m Back’ Gift. Ever.

Linda blew her nose on a tissue before chucking it onto the pile nearby. She banged her fist on the table as she sobbed uncontrollably.

”Oh Henry.”, She wept, “Where did you go?!”

Just then, the door opened. She looked up and much to her disbelief, there at the door stood a very tired and inky Henry.

”Oh, Oh my god!”, Linda stood up letting out a laugh, “Oh my god it’s really you!”

”Yeah it is.”, Henry said in an incredibly monotone voice, “Now I’m gonna take a shower, you lot introduce yourself.”

And he barged past Linda to the bathroom. She looked after him in absolute disbelief. She turned round with a huff. And met the eyes of a woman with horns and halo.

”Hello there I’m Allison-“

”AHHHHHHHHH!!!”, Linda let out a very loud scream and picked up a nearby pan, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!!!???? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE!!!!????”

”Well, to answer the first question, I’m a former human transformed to look like Alice Angel by means of demon magic ink. The second question, Henry saved me from the studio and has allowed me to live in your house as all our houses have been solved and we can’t really go to the police on account of them probably shooting us on sight.”

”STILL GET THE FUCK OUT!!!”, Linda continued to scream.

She felt something tap her on the shoulder and turned to see a very stern cartoon wolf with a robotic arm. The pan immediately collided with his face, earning a shocked gasp from the halo lady. 

“WHY DID YOU DO THAT!!!??”

”IT’S AN ABOMINATION!!!”

”THAT’S MY HUSBAND!!!!”, Halo yanked out a sword and pointed it at Linda, “SO YOU BETTER FUCKING APOLOGISE!!!!”

”NEVER!!!”

And the two started fighting. Halo managed to rip the frying pan out of Linda’s hand, only to drop her sword on account of being kicked in the stomach. The two then proceeded to slap each other. Nearby, 3 spectators watched.

”Think we should do something?”, A very inky Dot asked.

”Nah, this is the most entertainment I’ve had in 20 years.”, An animatronic with the voice of Bertrum responded.

There was a loud oddly cheerful moan from a inky creature wearing a hat as both woman started writhing on the ground. Another cartoon wolf joined them, now armed with various kinds of food, and they all watched the show.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This goes on for about half an hour.


	3. In Which Boris Dies...Again

It was breakfast and everyone was sitting around the breakfast table. Bertrum was reading a teenage magazine with his feet on the table, much to Linda’s distaste and annoyance at he pushed her food to the edge of the table. Henry had gone upstairs and asked her to ‘take care of the kids’, whatever that meant. Jack kept on leaning over Bertrum’s shoulder to see the magazine, and he batted him away, and he looked over his shoulder, and he batted him away and the cycle repeated like a demented cartoon studio time loop. Dot watched this cycle for a bit before attempting to steal Linda’s toast, at which point Linda had enough. She snatched her plate up and stomped out of the room up to her bedroom where Henry was sitting in the corner reading.

”It has been 5 days and I’m already losing my mind Henry!!”, Linda cried with a defiant stomp.

”Uh huh.”, Henry said, flicking a page.

“I never agreed to having these creatures in my house!”

”Yes.”, He held up the book in an attempt to see something better.

”You gave half of those abominations to Joey why can’t you give him the rest! At least they won’t drive him crazier than he already is!”

He squinted and mumbled something.

”HENRY LISTEN TO ME-Wait are you reading a dark magic book?”

Henry looked away from the book with the pentagram on the front, “Uhhh...No.”

She stormed over and snatched the the book from his grasp before hurling it out of the nearest open window.

”What was that for!?”, Henry exclaimed in an offended tone.

”THAT. IS. A. SATAN BOOK!!”

”I was only reading it to find out a cure for the others!”

“Wouldn’t you read a light magic book for that!?”

”Joey only had dark magic books-“

”YOU GOT IT OFF JOEY!!!???”

Linda screeched in rage and suplexed a nearby chair before turning back to Henry.

”I am your wife Henry!!!! I will not stand for this!!!! Dark magic, Inky creatures, time loops, _Joey_! NO! I refuse to have this in my household!!!”

”They have no where else to go.”, Henry monotonously said, “They get to stay here.”

”What about with Barney and Charlotte? They seem to have raised a creature from hell already why can’t they handle few more!?”, Linda laced furiously up and down the room, “These thing’s are unbearable! Bertrum  wears my slippers ALWAYS just as I get out of a shower with my cold wet feet, Dot eats all the food in the entire damn house and stains my carpets with ink, Jack stains everything too and steals my hats, Tom sits on the sofa all the time and never moves EVER, Allison keeps sneaking around the house, graffitiing the walls and stabbing the tree in the backyard!”

”What about Boris?”, Henry asked.

Linda suddenly smiled, “Oh Boris is quite delightful, he helps me out around the house, cleans carpets, makes breakfast because he’s always up early. He is the best thing to come out of that studio, and I mean the BEST thing Henry. It would be a shame if anything happened to him-“

And then there was loud shriek from downstairs. Both immediately bolted downstairs and stared at the scene before them. Something was on fire, Dot was on the ceiling, everyone else was running around in panic while Jack hovered above the dead body of Boris. 

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE!!!”, Linda screamed at Allison, as if she could tell it was her fault somehow.

”Ok, um, So Tom wanted some toast but was too lazy to get it so he asked Boris to get him some so Boris did but then the toast was too small because Boris cut off the crust because Tom doesn’t like the crust so he tried to get it out and used a fork to do so but the toaster electrocuted him and sent out sparks which set some stuff on fire and that’s why Boris is dead.”

And the two stood in silence as chaos reigned around them and Bertrum screamed in a very annoying staticky way. Henry rolled his eyes and picked up his axe.

”Guess I have to go rescue Boris from the ink now.”, And he walked out of the door only to backtrack briefly to say, “Oh, and I’ll pick up a new toaster along the way.”


	4. In Which The Ink Demon Steals A Wheelchair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I have decided to change some things about this fic in light of the novel coming out. Basically, Lacie isn’t some random ink creature anymore, she’s Fisher and I have decided to put Dot in her place and Wally is a separate creature from Boris and he’s going to show up in the next chapter. That’s it. :)

It had been a whole week since he had been handed these monsters and Joey hadn’t gotten a single night of sleep. He was up half the time trying to keep the butcher gang from dying and locking the demon in the closet was always a Herculean task seeing as he was in a wheelchair. Sammy apparently had a deep fear of the dark Henry either didn’t know about or just didn’t tell him about, the latter was more likely, and insisted on lighting these long candles everywhere, which only served as another safety hazard for the Butcher Gang. Joey had been forced to surrender his bed to Alice and even though they acted like they hated each other she often used it to do...things with Sammy after his candle craze. And then once the gang had finally settled down after the demon had stopped roaring like a maniac, they snuggled up together and fell asleep while snoring monstrously. That should've been the end of his night routine as he went to fall asleep on his desk turned bed, but no. After about 15 minutes of trying to get to sleep while Alice practiced her singing, The Projectionist would walk into the room and just stare at him. Sometimes he watched other creatures sleep but he preferred Joey for some reason. The issue wasn’t so much the watching itself, no matter how uncomfortable it made him, no, it was the fact that  _ his eye was fucking light bulb.  _ Ink creatures didn’t even need to sleep, he could tell by the fact that Sammy spent the whole night tuning his banjo and relighting candles, but they just seemed to like sleeping. That or it was an elaborate scheme to torture Joey further. The Projectionist also seemed to fall asleep by becoming frozen, meaning he shone light on Joey the entire night. 

* * *

It was a Monday and Joey was feeling exhausted. He was so unbelievably tired that he found it difficult to even move his wheelchair. So he just sat in it, completely still, vaguely watching the creatures. Sammy seemed to have assigned himself caretaker of the butcher gang so he didn’t have to worry about that. The Projectionist had wandered off somewhere and Alice was going through the typical motions of cleaning every surface until it shined. He never knew what the Ink Demon was doing but most of the time he hung about ink limbo until he needed food or a scratch. Joey looked across the room at his sofa. It was now Sammy’s bed, not that he used it much, so it was a little inky. But anything was better than the desk. The gang were happily chattering away in the kitchen as he went to snatch a spare blanket. He hadn’t used this one because he distinctly remembered strangling Dot to death with it (he was happy Henry had her, and Buddy for that matter) so he had been stuck with the scratchy one. But he was so tired by this point that he didn’t even care if it was a murder weapon. He wheeled himself over to the sofa and with much strain laid down on top of Sammy’s blanket. He pulled his over himself, checked to see if anyone would bother him, and shut his eyes. He soon drifted off into the soothing inky black of sleep.

* * *

 

Joey awoke slowly. Sleep dust had gathered in his eyes and he groggily rubbed it away as he sat up. He could tell from the light that the sun was setting. He had slept through the entire day. He looked around the room. He could hear the butcher gang chattering away in his bedroom and the sound of a banjo plucking alongside a beautiful voice. It appeared a performance was going on. For some reason, Joey smiled. And then he heard the sound of the clanking of wires and looked up. The Projectionist was standing in the doorway to the kitchen with an ink stained carton of milk in one hand. Joey knew these creatures only drank ink so an alarm immediately went off in his head. Norman was always the snooping type, he died because of snooping, he knew it would be a matter of time before he found out his secrets. Then, he noticed the second thing. He was wearing his dressing gown. Rage boiled up inside Joey. These  _ things _ had already cost him his bedroom, his sleep, his clothes, his food. That dressing gown was the  _ only _ thing left that was his, his only solace and this cinema worker wannabe had taken it! 

“I’M GOING TO FUCKING MURDER YOU A SECOND TIME!!”

He was prepared to beat his ass from a wheelchair but then realised something. His wheelchair was gone. He glared at The Projectionist.

“Where the fuck is my wheelchair!?”

The projector creature pointed at the closet and let out a raspy static sigh before walking away. Joey stared at the closet. It was on the other side of his house and he had no way to get there. He should’ve asked Nor-The Projectionist to help him across. Not that he would’ve. He looked around the room for a solution. He had abandoned his desk chair and could probably use it to shuffle there. He stood up and used the armchair as support to reach it. Then he spent about ten minutes shuffling across the room, in a chair, with only his arms and upper body to do so. Finally, he reached the closet. He opened the door which was, much to his surprise, unlocked. Inside was the Ink Demon

 

Sitting in his wheelchair.

 

Joey had to stare for a full minute to get what was happening. It looked a lot less menacing in the chair and the ink rain and aura surrounding it had ceased completely. In fact, it was making a weird noise. It was close to growl but was much happier and contented. It was purring. He shuffled closer and it turned to look at him, or hear him. After a moment of silence, Joey cleared his throat and awkwardly asked

“Could I have my wheelchair back please?”

* * *

It was Wednesday and Joey entered the house in his wheelchair, dragging another one behind him. The Ink Demon, which had been sitting on the sofa smoothing it’s horns, perked up. Joey pushed it towards him and wheeled away.

“I hope you’re happy. Getting a second one cost what was left of my pension money.”

He grumbled what he said while grabbing a carton of milk. Behind him he could hear the demon purring much louder than before. No matter how much he hated these creatures, he couldn’t deny that sound didn’t make him feel happy somewhere deep inside.


End file.
